Need Some Sunshine?

I don't know about you but the lack of sunshine here in WNY greatly affects my mood, energy, and ability to feel normal. I can deal with cold and snow- I don't have a problem with that. BUT living under cloud cover the majority of the winter season drives me crazy!! I get so excited at every glimpse of sunshine and open the curtains at any prolonged appearance.

The following pictures aren't actually of sunshine, but they warm my heart just like the sun. They remind me of sunny, warm days.

Enjoy!!!

2014

Yeah I'm the punk planning out my goals and aspirations for 2014.

I'm good at brainstorming. Not so much with execution. ;o)

I've been teaching (alongside my Momma) a preschool class at a homeschool co-op through my church. It's been a great experience and Titus LOVES going to school. We just finished up our fall semester and I'm looking forward to the break. I'm going to use this time to plan out the spring and maybe even get ahead on some of the craft/activity prep. It's been pretty standard for me to being doing prep at 9 Wednesday night when co-op is Thursday morning. I'm hoping to break this cycle so I can enjoy teaching so much more.

I'm going to be more intentional with Titus about "learning time". This kid is crazy smart and it usually doesn't take him very long to catch on to something. (If he's interested.) I hope to make table time a little more exciting for him so he will enjoy it and learn things like tracing, cutting, and coloring inside the lines. He's an active little boy and really prefers to have sword fights and wrestle. So I'm sure we will do plenty of that stuff too. :) Well was much as my pregnant belly allows. :)

Along that line I think I could definitely be more intentional with Rya. Her vocabulary is increasing all the time. So I know we could work on colors, counting 1-5, and more item recognition. And of course reading lots of books. I want to read more with both kids. They generally love it and sometimes will sit for as many books as my voice can handle. And nothing is better these days than snuggling under a warm blanket reading books!

I want to read more books for myself this next year. I have a list of parenting books I'd like to read, like Grace-based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. I also want to read more books for just me. I love getting lost in a book, but it's been probably almost a year since I've really read anything. Makes me sad to think about. But the times I have for reading I usually spend sleeping! :o)

I've had a cleaning schedule up on my fridge for two years. I've never completed a week for various reasons. And I think that I'm going to revamp it to make it more doable. Not going to lie what usually hangs me up is working on the bedrooms. Anything that takes more than 10 minutes upstairs is hard to complete. Usually when I want to be upstairs working the kids are not in a cooperating mood and it's super frustrating. However, I do want to be better at staying on top of house work. So I'm going to rework the schedule I have and try to find one that works for our family. With adding another little one the daily tasks can't add up to too much time. Titus and Rya can help out a lot more, which generally they love to do.

Added to the cleaning theme I want to figure out a better system for laundry. Washing it isn't really an issue. Even though we have to go somewhere to wash our clothes I generally can stay on top of it. Putting away clean laundry is another story. Because we go somewhere else we usually end up doing laundry at night and therefore the clean clothes don't get put away the same day. So we end up with piles or baskets of clean clothes that we dig through for awhile until we are completely fed up and then finally put it all away. Why is it so hard to put away? I have no idea!!! I have my theories- like not being able to work upstairs when the kids are crazy which is more often than not. But maybe that's just a lame excuse. Although in the moment it feels very real! I also could work during nap time, but I'm usually sleeping too or enjoying a little peace and quiet. I often feel guilty for not getting work done during that time, but at the same time I really need that nap or down time.


I'm not going to wait until 2014 to start working on these. I know these things need to change so I'm going to start working on them now. I'm sure I will come up with more goals to focus on as time goes on but for now I think I have enough to work on!

What are your goals for 2014?

Rya's a Big Girl!!

Rya is a big girl. I'm denial that she will be two in about two months. It's insane how fast time is flying!!

Cyan will be here in about four months so we needed to get Rya out of the crib and into a regular bed. We got her a twin mattress from my MIL's house and some butterfly sheets (courtesy of my mom). The room isn't in it's final set up for when Cyan comes, but it's works for now while Rya gets used to sleeping in a different bed. 

Rya is gated into her room just so there's very little chance she will fall down the stairs if she wakes up in the middle of the night. She actually is pretty awesome at stairs, but I'm not willing to chance it. Because she's not stuck in a bed, she wakes up happy. I love waking up to "Momma!" rather than hysterical crying like something is wrong. 

Rya started the first night with a pillow, but when I went to bed she wasn't using it and almost falling off her bed avoiding it. She used the pillow the second night.

The bump on the side is a rolled up blanket to help keep her in bed. A pool noodle also works but I don't have one at the moment.

I can't believe my baby is so big. I love and hate it at the same time. It's awesome to watch her figuring stuff out or listening to her talk with these words she suddenly knows and can put into small sentences. Each season with my kiddos is awesome. It has it's challenges but overwhelmingly it's amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Christmas Decorations

The tree is up.

The tree is fluffed.

The tree was decorated by my cuties.

Saying something very important, but that darn flash!!!

Three of the husband's favorite ornaments.

I hate the ugly yellow light, but oh well. It's done!!

Some other random decorations.

Still to come:

-A star for the top of the tree. To be made by Titus and Daddy.

-We are going to turn our fridge into a snow man. Probably mostly to be done by me with some "coaching" from the Ti-man.

-Christmas lights on windows and maybe other various places.

We've never decorated this much for Christmas before and so far I'm enjoying it!! I'm usually very minimalist with holidays. Probably more out of laziness than anything, but the kids love it so it's totally worth it!!

New Play Area

THERE ARE NO MORE TOYS LIVING IN MY LIVING ROOM!!!!!

(Yes, I may be a TAD excited...  :o)   ).

We have lived in our house for two years and we have always had a toy corner. I have had a love-hate relationship with this corner. I loved that my kids had access to their toys and could get them without help from me. However the toys would take over my living room on a daily basis no matter how much sorting/cleaning/reducing we did. I hated it! My kids are classic dumpers. They dump out a bucket to fulfill some deep need to dump things and then it has always been a battle at clean up time. I've been told, "It's too hard to clean ____ up." My response was usually, "Well then remember that next time you want to dump toys out." Gracious, I know.

We finally came up with a solution. The other night we got home super late from Bryan's mom's house and after the kids were tucked away Bryan and I stayed up even later talking. (It had been awhile since we had even hung out so we didn't care it was so late.) We decided a long time ago that we didn't like out dining room table. It's beautiful and handmade at some point. But instead of four legs it has a massive column and four feet come off of that (that I usually stub my toe on). There are "wings" on both sides that you can pull up and snap into place to make the table bigger. These wings are not level and I question their strength. We don't even sit at the table because the kids aren't comfortable sitting at the table because their feet just hang. And Bryan and I aren't really that comfortable at that table. So it becomes a dumping ground for clutter...super annoying. So the dining room table is getting the boot. We like eating together but much prefer sitting on our couch. We are going to purchase a sturdy coffee table and sit around that as a family. I don't think family dinner HAS to be at a table but just needs to be together and for the most part electronic free. (Disclaimer: we greatly struggle with the electronic free part. But we are working on it.)

Since the dining room table is leaving there's no reason to keep calling it a dining room. The new name? Kid's play area!!! We are going to get an area rug hopefully this week sometime. In the mean time we moved the kid's book shelf and toys into the play area. I also brought down Rya's kitchen. We moved their art wall as well. And we have plans for other fun wall art/decorations.

I'm so excited about this change! My living room is finally free of toys. Of course toys may come into the living room but when it's time to clean up they go back into the play area. Last night I was able to sit with the hubs and just relax while not being smothered by toys.

We still need to actually get rid of the dining room table but the kids still have plenty of room to play.

I am one happy Momma!!!!

This Week/Random

This has been a crazy week. I don't even know where it went!

Monday Bryan had off but was in bed most of the day trying to beat a cold. We went to a super Walmart in the evening to get out of the house and to stock up on some groceries. :) Hmm I love me some groceries!!

Tuesday felt like Monday since it was the first day Bryan was back to work since before Thanksgiving. The kids and I just chilled at home. We played and cleaned up a little bit and just relaxed. I made beef stew for dinner- it was good but needs more meat next time. I'm freezing the leftovers so I can get more meat and add it in the future. If anything it would be great as a puree for the baby when the time comes...if I can even keep it that long.

Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday. I was extra tired so I laid low. Bryan went to church in the evening to help out with graphics. I love when he does that- it feeds the creative drive he has and he's so much happier when that need it met!!

Yesterday was amazing. It was the busiest day in a really long time but awesomely so. In the am I took Bryan to work (we were out of the house at 745) and then went straight to Co-op (homeschool co-op at my church where I teach the preschool class). It was a fun morning. The kids had a lot of energy which balanced my lack of energy. Then we came home ate lunch and napped. After naps we hung out for an hour (kids hung out, I got ready, packed a bag for the kids and made an ice cream cake) and then left to go pick up Bryan from work. From there we headed to my older brother's house where we hung out and anxiously awaited the arrival of my parents with my younger sister, Sarah, who has been in Argentina for the last year. It was a great night and we had a blast hanging out with family. The kids handled the busy day really well and went to bed pretty easily.

Randomness:
I am 21 weeks now. When did that happen????? This pregnancy is flying- which at this point I love because I'm starting to get uncomfortable (probably because this is my 3rd baby in 4 years??). But I also hate it because I have to stuff to do and I am having a hard time finding the time to get it done! I have a few projects I need to get done for Christmas- the biggest one being making the kids blankets. But then there's a few projects that need to get done before Cyan comes and I usually can't think of much else until that happens.

Cyan is getting more active now. I love it!!! She's exploring all the space she has (aka not punching my bladder AS much).

Titus was talking to her last night and rubbing my belly. It was such a precious moment. He's such a great big brother (when he remembers to be gentle). I'm excited to see him with the baby. He's so protective of Rya, which I love! I want him to be protective of his sisters.

Rya will acknowledge there is a baby in my belly but she doesn't really get it. She's such a little mother and so the majority of her present for Christmas this year revolve around babies. She's going to be such a big help, once she gets over the shock of a new little person living in our house. I'm slightly concerned about how well she will do, but other than talking about it or reading books, there isn't much we can do but pray. She's used to snuggling with Mommy whenever she wants and while I'm recovering that will be really hard to do.

Titus is coming into our room SOOO much at night. Wednesday night was 5 times. Last night was 4. I don't know why he wakes up and comes in our room. It drives me crazy because lately he wakes me up every single time so I'm getting really broken sleep which sucks. He used to be more stealthy and I'd wake up to pee and he would be there. He actually fell out of his bed last night, for the first time ever. But he was easy to get back down.

Rya slept through the night for 3 nights and then last night was up twice. I don't know if it was a temperature thing or dreams or what. She's easy to get back down but once again more broken sleep for me.

I'm trying to keep reminding myself that this is all just a season of motherhood. Not all seasons are as exhausting. God is good and gets me through each day and thankfully for now both kids still nap in the afternoon so I can too. And I have an understanding husband who doesn't care if I go to bed right after the kids do.

Goals for this weekend:
-Possibly get our tree up and decorated (other house decorations too)
-Laundry- wash the dirty and put away the clean
-Clean up random clutter spots
-Any other cleaning we might have energy for
-Get Rya a twin mattress and start her transition to a big girl bed

Here's some random pics from a few months ago that I love!!

19 weeks, Coffee, Sleeping Arrangements...

19 weeks people! About 20 more! It's going to fly with lots going on at least through the end of December. We have Thanksgiving next week, my sister coming home from Argentina (where's she's been for about a YEAR!), then we have the fun month of December with all the holiday fun that that entails. I'm excited to be distracted for the next month so I'm not constantly thinking about my baby to-do list.

Coffee finally tastes somewhat normal and good to me now! I tried it on a whim yesterday and was pleasantly surprised. Cyan has done a number on my taste buds! I'm still not craving any sugar really which is part of the reason I was avoiding coffee and tea. The only sugary thing that still tasted good to me was chocolate milk. I like enjoying a warm cup of coffee, but I'm not going to go crazy with it. I don't need the extra sugar in my diet.

I realized that we have to move Rya out of the crib before Cyan comes. We were planning on just borrowing or buying a second crib. However with the c-section I can't lift Rya for 6-8 weeks possibly more depending on pain. Bryan will be around before and after work but I can't put her in or take her out of her crib for naps. My mom and mother-in-law will be around to help, but I think it's too much to expect someone to be here everyday for nap time. We are planning on buying her a twin mattress and just putting it on the floor for now while she gets used to sleeping in a big bed. Rya still loves for me to rock her to sleep. Not Daddy, me. So this is also an issue we are going to be working through. We have time but it also stresses me out!

We were going to give up our big room for the girls to share and we still might but last night we started entertaining the idea of keeping our room. We just really like it. Cyan will be with us for a couple months (I'm assuming) so the extra space would be nice anyway. Plus our kids don't spend an overwhelming amount of time in their rooms other than sleeping.

I was going to include more in this post but my kids are done cooperating with Mommy's computer time. Have a great day!!!

And the Name Is...

I had my 18 week sonogram this past Wednesday. I was so nervous leading up to it as I have been in the past with sonograms that there was going to be a problem or something. However baby looks good! Cooperated with the needed measurements and moved around enough to be cute but wasn't a psychotic break dancer like Titus.

Baby cooperated for us to find out the gender too!! I'm super excited to announce we are having a GIRL!! Her name is Cyan (sigh-ann) Mercy. Cyan is the specific shade of blue from the primary color wheel. This was a name Bryan has loved since before we ever had kids. I picked Mercy for the middle name because I always thought it would be awesome to have two girls with the middle names of Grace and Mercy. But also because I want her to always be reminded of God's mercy on her and to have mercy on others.

I do have to admit was originally disappointed when we were told it was a girl. I don't know why but I have a weird attachment to the boy baby clothes I have and I wanted a chance to use them again. We also decided on the name Lincoln if it was a boy and I absolutely love that name and really wanted to use it. I even tried rationalizing using it for Cyan. BUT it is a really masculine name. I still think it's awesome and would have used it if Bryan would have been on board. But as time goes on I am sooo super excited to have another daughter. Granted the thought of two girly-girl teenagers makes me want to cry. I'm so not girly, but I can learn! Titus is an amazing big brother (when he isn't fighting evil monsters that are of course Rya without her knowing about it :)  ). I'm excited to teach him to be a leader and protector for his sisters. He already shows a lot of protective qualities and I LOVE it!!

The sonogram showed I have a low lying placenta- which means the placenta ends less than 2cm from my cervix. This could be a problem if I was going to have a vaginal delivery, but I'm not. It could also be a problem if the placenta was in the front of my uterus where the doctor would have to cut for the c-section. BUT the placenta is in the back so my doctor is 100% not concerned and is even happy about where it is.

I gained 4 pounds since my last appt...2 WEEKS AGO!!! I'm not happy about that!! BUT I don't think I've really been eating bad so I can't really complain. I could be more active but I usually have the attitude of I'm going to gain what I gain. When pregnant with Titus I LOVED desserts. I could pack those things away! And with Rya I barely ate any! But I gained about the same with Rya as with Titus. So I think I'm pretty destined to gain roughly about 35ish pounds. I am going to try being more active this time around but if that doesn't work I'm not going to cry about it. I will gain what I gain.

Okay I'm off to battle with the clutter upstairs. Here's a pic of Cyan's cuteness!!

Hair Follow-up/TOMORROW!!!

So a quick follow up on my hair. I washed my hair last night again with just baking soda and water. I think I used too much baking soda- I ended up dumping some down the drain because I didn't need it. Then again I used a pea sized amount of regular conditioner afterwards. I will not be repeating that step again. I think that is the cause of the weird texture- the slight greasy feeling my hair has. My hair feels thicker and is really knotty to play with but i can brush it out just fine and put it up when needed. Next time I wash it I'm going to make the conditioning rinse with apple cider vinegar and water. Between now and then or at least right before I might add a little bit of coconut oil to my hair- a little bit can act as a conditioner. A lot and it's a mask. I want to try both.


TOMORROW!!! Is my 18 weeks sonogram. We get to see baby and hopefully find out what we are having. I'm super excited but also nervous. I always get nervous ahead of time until I know that baby is right on track and doesn't have anything developmentally wrong/challenging. Once we are in the clear for all of that I relax and enjoy it more. I'm feeling more movement these days- not necessarily more in amount but more as in strength. One kick or punch this morning really surprised me!! I LOVE this part of pregnancy!!!

Can't wait to announce what we are having and the name we have chosen!! :D

Crunchy Weekend

Apparently this was my weekend for upping my crunchy game. :D

Friday night I was looking forward to taking a shower. I have been debating on and off to switch to the no-poo method of washing my hair. I have avoided it because, well I'm lazy, and I really haven't been in the mood to deal with transition hair. I've heard it can be greasy and unruly. But lately my hair has been ridiculously greasy anyway. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones or the fact that I've needed to use a little conditioner to be able to get a comb through my hair. I don't know. But either way Friday night I decided to just try it and see how my hair felt after. I could always wash it the regular way after if I wasn't satisfied. So I grabbed a small snack container and poured a bunch of baking soda into it. In the shower I slowly added water to make a watery paste. I rubbed the paste into my roots and scalp and gently ran the rest of it over my hair as I rinsed it out. My hair felt kind of dry and knotty but not terribly so. I decided to use a pea sized amount of conditioner on all my hair but the roots just to make combing it easier. 

After the shower I was able to comb my hair no problem. It definitely felt different. Parts of it felt greasy and parts felt very dry. And my hair felt like that all weekend. Brushing it would make it feel smoother again and wearing it up reduced how dry and knotty it felt. I kept checking for signs of grease all weekend and haven't seen any. I haven't really checked yet this morning but my hair doesn't feel any different. 

I'm going to keep going with this and then possibly might test with regular shampoo in a week or so. I thoroughly enjoy not having to wash my hair everyday because of greasy hair.

The other aspect of my crunchiness this weekend was with Essential oils. Rya came down with a cold and wasn't sleeping well. Friday night I didn't have any oils yet so I put Vicks on her feet with socks and then rubbed some into a wet washcloth that I hung in front of her fan. That seemed to help although around 3 am she woke up and then had a hard time settling back down. 

Saturday morning I went to a local store that sells essential oils and other herbal things as well as some other stuff. I bought Rosemary oil to put in our humidifiers because it can help clean out your sinuses and make it easier to breathe. I also bought Lavender oil because it can help calm and induce rest. Which after being up with Rya for almost 3 hours Friday night we needed rest. I have some maintenance work to do on the humidifiers so for nap time Saturday I just put Rosemary oil on the washcloth like I did with the Vicks. It definitely seemed to help. I like the smell of it! Just rocking Rya in the same room as it helped clear my nose out!

I put a couple of drops of Lavender oil on Rya's feet Saturday night and she slept all night. Did the same last night and she got up once but she fell asleep pretty quickly. I used it on Titus last night as well. He still got up a few time we but he calmed down and fell asleep quicker than usual. I do NOT like the smell of the lavender. It doesn't smell like the conventional lavender scent that you would get in a store. Although, I'm not a huge fan of that smell either.

I've enjoyed my crunchy weekend. I'm going to keep going with the oils until Rya clears up (and Bryan who now has a cold).

Hope you all had a good weekend!!

It's Friday!!

I'm so excited it's Friday! We have no plans this weekend, except to hang out as family. We might work on the house a little bit and catch up on some clerical stuff. But if not, that's okay! Rya seems to have a cold so I want to make sure she can get a ton of rest this weekend.

My kids love to dance. I can turn on music, Youtube, or they will even play Just Dance. They just love to get down. It's adorable and great exercise for them. And me, when I'm not too lazy to join in. One of our pastors told Bryan about this awesome band called The Rizers. They are an animated band and make super cool videos. The best part about this band? Their songs are straight Scripture. It's a great way for my kids to get more Scripture in their day and they learn Bible verses without even realizing it! It's good for me too! The songs are really catchy as well.

Here's a Youtube link so you can check them out. I HIGHLY recommend it!
http://www.youtube.com/user/therizers

I hope you all have fantastic weekends!!

17 weeks

-I haven't figure out how to get pics on here from my phone so I don't have a new picture. Oh well!

-The heartburn has kicked in! Really with only tomato-y stuff or anything spicey. Tums are my friend and so far they are working.

-I have a little jr sized basketball sized belly. I love it! I love actually looking pregnant vs just looking like I ate too many cookies. Depending on the day I'm still in that phase but it's becoming more and more obvious.

-I am still pretty exhausted. I think the first trimester exhaustion is gone but I'm still beat! I think it's more getting woken up from deep sleep in the mornings and from naps. I try not to take naps but I can't keep my eyes open anymore. But I always feel worse after.

-I need to get my butt moving on making some maternity pants. I can't really fit in my jeans anymore. I'm using the hairtie trick to keep the button closed but the zippers are getting tight too. I pretty much live in sweats at home but don't want to do that going out. I'm outgrowing the pants a friend gave me. They were very much appreciated but short lived! I'm good on shirts whether it's regular shirts or ones I had or borrowed.

-I am getting the nesting urge for projects but of course I don't have the energy to do anything about it. I don't usually get the crazy cleaning aspect of nesting- just organizing and projects.

-Titus is getting really excited for the baby and Rya talks about it more. Poor Titus wants the baby to come right now and doesn't understand he has to wait another 5 months.

-We were planning on Titus sharing a room with the baby if it is a boy. But that kids can't sleep through noise. Rya crying wakes him regardless of when it happens and they are in seperate rooms! So the baby will room with us a little longer than planned then we will reevaluate when the time comes.

-18 weeks sonogram is in one week!!! I am praying this baby cooperates and shows off the gender. And also that everything is healthy and growing the way it should.

-I've started to feel the baby move with my hand. Bryan even felt it once. It's awesome and one of my favorite things about being pregnant. :D

Picture announcement

I've been wanting to announce this pregnancy in some cool way but I wasn't sure how. But then I found this shirt and it all fell into place. This shirt is so comfy and I will gladly live in it for the next 5 months!!

An update on life

Bryan:
Working hard at his job every day. God has definitely blessed him with awesome co-workers. His actual job is not his dream and he's not designing at all but he's thankful for his job and has been able do to some designing on side.

Titus:
Man this kid is crazy! He's starting to have dreams and think they are real so I hear a lot of really confusing stories :). He is pretty much 100% reliable without a diaper during the day. He could probably rock 100% of naps and most nights but I'm a chicken. His imagination is crazy and it so awesome to watch him use it. He generally loves playing with his sister but sometimes gets way too rough and parental. We have some behavior things we are working on and it's a hard season but he's still a blast,

Rya:
This little girl is a freaking blast! She makes the funniest faces and is just a goofball. She is starting to need help learning to obey and will flat out tell me "No" but we are working on that. She LOVES to read and is really starting to talk. It's amazing how many words she can say or when she puts them together in a sentence. I fully weaned her maybe a month ago (probably a little less) and she started sleeping through the night shortly after. She's been getting up early the last few days which I'm not cool with but whatever. I can deal with that.

Me:
I am much less tired most days unless Rya gets me up really early. Thankfully I think the first trimester exhaustion has worn off. I have a ton of projects I want/need to get done and I'm starting to get antsy about it all. I'm trying to figure out the best routine for our family so the baby can join in and not be born into complete chaos. I think the kids will adjust better if they have a routine they can count on for the most part.

So that's us for now. I'm sure tomorrow things will be totally different kid wise. I praying the kids adjust well to the time change this weekend. With Rya already waking up around 530 I'm betting Sunday morning it will be 430. My kids never sleep in with the time change. Really wish they did or that we just didn't mess with the time in the first place.

I'm off- Rya is shoving a book in my face that I apparently need to read RIGHT NOW!!! :D

Project Time

I have a growing list of projects I want/need to complete in the near future.

Side note: I haven't made any fun or exciting announcements but I am 15.5wks pregnant! :) So most of these projects revolve around that fact.

House projects:
-Organize and downsize toys in the house

-Switch rooms when we know what gender this baby is- two kids will be sharing.

-Rearrange downstairs and possibly reduce what we have

Sewing Projects:
-Make maternity pants. I have an awesome friend who is letting me borrow some of hers and they will work great for now. But I usually gain some weight in my thighs and butt and then those pants won't fit anymore.

-Make a Ring Sling. I'm going to pretty much follow the look of the Sukura Bloom brand rather than the Maya sling. I'm planning on using the sling for the tiny newborn days (if I like it). I have a tendency to have a lot of shoulder and back pain with holding/carrying/wearing my kids so hopefully that won't happen. If it does I will just go back to using my Moby Wrap.

-I have material to make Rya a blanket and I need to make the one I made Titus bigger since he's out-growing it.

Christmas Projects:
-I'm going to make broom stick horses for the kids- they pretend everything is a horse anyway so this should be fun for them.

-Crochet washclothes and hot pads for some family

-Sugar scrubs for some family.

This should all be fun and keep me VERY busy. Especially on top of everything else I have going on...ya know raising two little kids and all :)

Motherhood musings

Parenting.

It's something I dreamed of starting at a young age. All I ever consistently wanted to be was a wife and mother. I had other career aspirations but they didn't stick around very long.

I have that dream now. I'm the wife of an amazing man and I'm the mother to two amazing kids.

Sometimes though, in the middle of a hard season I wonder why I wanted to be a mother so bad. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. They are awesome. I am truly blessed to be their mother and have the opportunity to raise them. But there have been seasons that are hard! Baby days and lack of sleep can be hard but to me that's not the really hard part. It's teaching them to obey the first time every time, all the way and with a happy heart. To love their sibling instead of acting selfishly. To not argue with each other but especially with me or their Daddy. (Oh goodness the arguing! Drives me up a wall!!)

I'm in a rougher season right now where I find myself begging for time alone or my man to come home at night. I'm drained at the end of each day and pretty much go to bed as soon as the kids are down. I'm grateful for each weekend and try to keep it as laid back as possible.

But during all if this? God is still good. He is still faithful. He loves me and He loves my kids. He gives grace for each day and for each battle. I'm learning to rely on Him even more. To find the joy he still provides throughout my day. I'm so grateful that He is on my side. I don't have to do this alone. I try to and fail....miserably.

I'm so grateful for the way God has been speaking truth into my life. Through friends and their transparency, blog posts, His Word, music.

I've realized a few things recently while going through this season:

My kids need Jesus. They can only change their behavior so much. They need Jesus to change their hearts. I'm really seeing this with Titus. He understands quite a bit we are trying to be more intentional with explaining his need for Jesus.

I need Jesus. I need alone time with Jesus daily! I need to hear music that praises Jesus more than any other music. I need His wisdom to teach and guide these little people.

I'm excited to see how God works in their lives and also in mine. It's a fun, exciting, HARD journey but I wouldn't have it any other way!

"Be gentle!"

"Be gentle." This is going to be my common phrase from now out throughout my days.

Titus is a rambunctious boy. He loves to run, jump, tackle. He loves wrestling. (It's the one reason he cleans up toys with a fiery passion!) Most days I repeatedly tell him to not touch Rya, or to keep his hands off of her. He gets so rough with her and even though he just playing a girl can only have her head smashed into the floor/furniture so many times!

Oh and side note- to tell Titus to keep his HANDS off of Rya guarantees he will touch her/knock her down with a different body part. Telling him to be gentle removes that loop hole.

So here we go on the journey to be gentle....

Rya Update

Rya is such a sweet treasure!!

Her smile lightens up my day.

She will be 16 months in about a week. I feel like this time is flying but at the same time that Rya has been with us forever!!

Rya is such a copy cat! She follows her brother everywhere and tries to do everything he does. She's very good at problem solving like her brother.

Rya definitely is on the normal side of verbal skills. She's adding new words every day and tries to say almost anything if she's in the mood.

This girl is a climber! (Thanks to her brother!) It's never a shock to find her standing on the back of the couch looking out the window. And praise God unless her brother is involved she has never fallen or gotten hurt. Praying this continues!!!!

We are transitioning from two naps to one. Some days are easier than others. Rya could use 2 naps most days but is soo stubborn! She sleeps pretty well for nap and at night. Although lately she is waking up more at night. I'm chalking it up to cutting molars but who knows. It could be just to cuddle and connect with mommy.

She's still nursing- little booger won't give it up! And she's not eating a lot of food right now. Once again I am chalking that up to the teething...and her being a toddler. As far as I know she hasn't lost any weight yet so I'm not going to worry about it.

This girl is such a crazy blessing and I love her to pieces!!!

Titus Update

This kid is crazy.

And I love him!!!

We are currently in the middle of toilet training. He was breaking out in rashes and sweating really bad in the hot weather so I decided to ditch the diapers (except for sleep). He's rocking it! I'm sure we will have lots of accidents before we are done (and even after). But it hasn't been too bad yet! I'm still the initiator but that will change the longer we do this.

We are in a phase of Titus needing to learn how to express anger/frustration the right way vs screaming or yelling. It's hard and frustrating but he's learning.

This boy is so sporty!! He can throw pretty much anything and with dead-on aim if he tries. He LOVES baseball and soccer right now. He loves to play outside and absolutely LOVES to wrestle with Daddy.

Titus loves learning his numbers and letters and I'm trying to encourage that. It's not always easy but he's getting it slowly! I have a bunch of homeschool printables that I can use for him but I'm holding off on that for now. Rya is adjusting her naps so we don't always get one-on-one time where the printables would be easier.

He drives me crazy! He ignores me a lot and I am not as patient as I should be, but God is using that to work in my life. It reminds me of my God's unconditional, patient love and how I should have that for Titus. I'm a work in progress and I'm so thankful my God hasn't given up on me!!!

I'm so blessed to be Titus's mommy. We have a blast and it's more than worth it even when it's frustrating.

Another Announcement

Cutting to the chase- I ended up having a miscarriage Friday. It definitely sucks but I'm praising God it wasn't more physically taxing. I don't think I was very far along, which I think aided in my body's ability to do it all on its own.

I'm definitely sad that I have to wait to meet this little one, but I am at peace about it...usually. Bryan made a good point: we are sad for us but not for the baby. They didn't suffer, and didn't have to experience this fallen world. I'm sure I will have my moments. Part of me feels a little numb. So working through this with my loving Father.

Praising God for His goodness and grace!

Announcement and Ramblings

The Announcement: we are adding to our family again! The third (and last) mini free will be joining us between Christmas time and the middle of January!! We are so happy and excited and extremely blessed! I'm also scared out of my friggin mind! Some days it seems like I can barely handle the two I have already been blessed with and to add another one to that...really??? BUT overall the excitement and thankfulness win over the fear.

I have always viewed this blog as some sort of platform for I don't know what. I barely post because I'm self-conscious about what to say. I want it to sound just right and to be helpful, or entertaining. But my friend (Hi Heather!) pointed out that this could just be a journal of sorts, a way to record what's going on in life and what I'm thinking or feeling. So true!! If people like it and want to read it, great! If not? Oh well! I cant still look back and see how God was working in my life. So here's to a new chapter of blogging- to writing what I want, when I want and not worrying about the attention I could get from doing so. Hopefully this means more posts, but I'm not sure that's a guarantee. :o)

With the baby coming my brain is going INSANE!!! I started making a "Baby need" list the day I found out I am expecting. I am constantly making plans in my head of what needs to happen in our family and in our house before this baby comes. Because we all know this baby will be here NEXT WEEK! (Or that's at least what my brain thinks and therefore is puts a crazy urgent label on EVERYTHING!) 

Here's some of the stuff that needs to happen before this baby comes:

-Rya NEEDS to wean- sooner the better! I know there's the option of tandem nursing and no offense to those that want to or have done that but I'm not interested. I would like my boobs to myself for a short time before they are hijacked again for at least a year. (I willingly nurse so maybe hijack is too strong of a word??)

-Both Titus and Rya need to sleep through the night. Yes, what were we thinking wanting to add another sleep interrupter to this craziness?? :) Titus wakes up 1-3x a night and just climbs in bed with us. If we sleep through it, no harm no foul. However, he usually wakes me up. We are going to make him a bed on our floor and teach him to sleep there if he wants to be close to us. Our bed is not big enough so Mr. Titus and his elbows and horizontal sleeping. I've found that if Rya has a later bedtime (9ish) she will usually sleep straight through to about 6-630. I'm going to keep rolling with that because not getting up with her is AWESOME!

-The bedrooms in my house are a mess and NEED to be cleaned, straightened, and organized! I'm sick of random piles of crap EVERYWHERE! Totally our fault that it's like that. And that as a family we live out of laundry baskets. It just needs to change. It's ridiculous and I'm over it. (But still too tired to do anything about it, so here I sit and rant...)

-My housework needs to get on a schedule/routine and I NEED to actually do it. It's not that hard, right? Oh wait, yes it is...apparently...because I suck at it. The clutter hot spots in my house are the stairs (can we say safety hazard??), our bedrooms, and what I call the diaper station. My kitchen is also rather annoying at dirty dishes keep popping up and I don't know how to get rid of them. ;o) My pantry is also rather annoying. My kids like to rearrange the items on the shelves and then there's item that are a no-no for them to mess with. So it's just a hot mess. Although I can find everything. Not sure anyone can, though!! 

I have decided that I start nesting super early, but I just have no energy to do anything about it until 2nd tri or later, which makes me pretty crabby. :o)

On to other things! Bryan has a new job! He now works at LocalEdge which is a huge company! He is working in the web design division as a web project coordinator. He says it's mostly clerical and kind of boring but it's a step in the door, higher pay, great people, and gives him opportunities to learn about web design, which he would LOVE to get into. He schedule is even a little better...830-430. He hasn't really left on time yet, but when he does it will be great! His position is a new one to help alleviate some of the work from the web designers. So right now he's playing catch up. Once that's over I'm sure he will be able to leave on time more often. 

Okay I'm done. I could keep going because that means I could continue to sit on my butt and essentially do nothing but my kitchen is ridiculous and my Mom-in-Love is coming over later and I don't want to have to hang my head in shame.

Good Friday

I am so grateful for today. For the reminder of what my Savior did for me. The love He displayed as He took my punishment for sin is unimaginable to me.

But yet, I am discouraged today. I realized that I haven't been seeking my Jesus on a daily basis. I haven't been in the Word or doing much other than quick prayers here and there. I feel so busy, tired, and burnt out and like I haven't really been able to appreciate today's reminder.

Granted this has been a hard week- I've been sick. But still. That is no excuse!!

Thank you, Jesus for the reminder of what is really important and how badly I need you first in my life.

Happy Resurrection weekend!!

Precious Faces and Moments

It's late so this will be a short one. Today was a good day but I didn't make time to blog until I got in bed. My bad! Here are some pics from my phone of my cuties!!

I am in love with these eyes!

Rya- sleeping/nursing after a very long day.

I'm so bummed this picture is blurry but I CAN'T get over this face!

Surgery Day

This past Monday Rya had tubes put in her ears and her tongue tie clipped. She rocked it!! She was a champ about not eating or drinking before hand. She went with the nurse like it was no big deal.

Right after surgery was a different story. I still say she did great but she was like I've never seen her before. It took awhile before anything I did helped to calm her down. It took about 30 min before I could get her to stay calm enough to nurse. We were able to take her to a different room after she nursed and there she fell asleep on Bryan and slept hard for 45 minutes. After that she woke up and was a brand new girl! She was still a little off but she started smiling, playing with her belly button, and waving at people.

I kept her drugged all day but overall I don't think she was in very much pain. :o) Now hopefully the current ear infection she had Monday will go away and stay away!!