Choices

I've been thinking about choices lately, namely the choices that I make on a daily basis. I have a close friend who was an excellent encouragement to me yesterday on this topic. She has two kids under two and they are both really sick with influenza A. She's not getting much sleep and most likely feels like a zombie a lot. However, yesterday she chose to make some amazing choices. She chose to cling to God and still enjoy her kids. That can be hard to do when everything is going great. It's especially difficult when you are so exhausted you don't feel remotely normal.

So today I'm taking that encouragement to heart. I've had some crappy nights of sleep. And I'm far from a delightful person when I'm exhausted. I tend to be the mean mommy who just wants to be left alone. I struggle with choosing to look past my exhaustion to God who can provide anything I need. He can provide me with patience and strength to do my day well.

Today I choose to enjoy my kids. If that that means ignoring my to-do list so I can just focus on them then so be it. I'm fine with spending the day playing with them, watching them, reading to them. They deserve a mommy who enjoys them. Not one who seems constantly annoyed because she can't look past how tired she is.

It's going to be a struggle. But I know my God is on my side and He will give me what I need to Mommy well!

Feeling the Pressure

I've mentioned it before but nesting for me is in the form of projects rather than cleaning or organizing. But maybe that's because there's always projects that NEED to be done and are more important than washing my walls. (Which come to think of it, they could use a good wipe down).

I finally was able to nap yesterday, but wasn't able to fall asleep because my brain wouldn't stop running with the things that need to get done. So the hubby told me to write out a list so he could start working on it. (He's so good to me!)

Writing it all out did help clear my head a little bit, but not that much. I still had trouble falling asleep last night. But now it's in a visible spot instead of stuck in my brain. :o)

First up is packing away all of the Christmas decorations and the tree. I can't wait for the tree to be gone, not going to lie. I'm sick of helping the kids remember to leave it alone. This won't happen until next week though. We have some other things going on this weekend that need to prep time. 

I have 14 weeks left if Cyan waits until 39 weeks. But that's actually only 13 more weekends (which offer the most time to get projects done). The next two weekends are pretty busy with some family stuff so that cuts me down to 11. Man, that stresses me out!! (breathing slowly). 

What about the week days you ask? Those would be great for getting stuff done, and things would get done faster and possibly in a more manageable way than in a weekend rush. Well, evenings are usually shot, because the kids miss Daddy all day and don't usually cooperate very well or long for us to get anything done. A lot of the projects are bedroom adjustments and can't be done after the kids go to bed. And during the day while Bryan is gone it is a miracle that we all survive through the day. My kids are in a "delightful" phase of fighting. All. the. time. If they see the other playing with a toy that they touched at some point or might even be their's they react with anger and go flying at the other person. I never thought I would have to stop my kids from trying to bite and strangle each other. But I do. On a daily basis. Now, I love my kids and they can play well together. But right now is not a time where I can leave them to play nicely while I work on a project. Just going into the kitchen to make a meal or get a snack is dangerous. I hope this phase ends quickly and they go back to being buddies that play well. 

Today is especially bad with this since they've had so much Daddy time with the holidays. They aren't handling him going back to work very well. And either am I!!

Okay, time for some snuggles and book reading to keep the peace. :o)